And then my husband died

I haven’t posted in a while and there’s good reason. On December 9th, 2017 my husband died in a motorbike accident. He was everything to me. Our love was deep and all consuming but it wasn’t all easy. It’s a long story for another day but losing him has left me in more emotional pain than I understood humans could ever have to endure…

Pacing – is this some sort of cruel joke?? 

Ok, so I’m a parent with a chronic illness. Check out this suggested “pacing” daily timetable. WTF??!! This is like the land of fairytales for any parent trying to keep two crazy energetic toddlers alive, never mind one also dealing with chronic illness. Where’s the pacing timetable for me at?? Recovering from another flare up…

The elevator story

This story is set when I was suffering from my first major fibromyalgia flare up during my second pregnancy. I didn’t even know I had it because doctors had diagnosed me with hypremesis graverium (severe debiltating morning sickness). I had been in and out of hospital numerous times and was so dizzy, naseous and in…

Pills

Since I started this journey I have been overwhelmed with the amount of information about medicines, pills and natural remedies. I am a natural remedy lover through and through but when the shit hits the fan I’m willing to venture into any medicinal help people recommend to me. I’m also very stubborn though so getting…

Light at the end of the tunnel

It’s been a very strange last week. Last Friday I felt pain and anguish in an emotional sense like I haven’t for a very long time. It started by finding out my husband had done something which really hurt my feelings. Relationship damaging level bad. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs and I’m the…

Watching my world crumble before my eyes

I think this is how lots of people with a chronic illness would feel. I can’t imagine what people with terminal illnesses go through. This is bad enough. I totally missed one of my best friends sons’ 4th birthday party tonight because I was sick and struggling through work I couldn’t put off and only…

What’s helped relieve my Fibromyalgia symptoms

What’s helped Finding the right “team” of healthcare professionals to help Sleep – as much uninterrupted sleep as possible Eating well – avoiding gluten and high fructans foods, reducing dairy significantly (I did give it up completely for a month), reducing carbohydrate intake Vitamin C infusions B12 injection Supplements to boost immunity (Vitamin D, magnesium…

A moment by moment battle

Now that I am looking back at the worst of my days I can see them more clearly for what they were and articulate what it’s like more clearly. It’s like stumbling over every hurdle whilst running a marathon with no option of stopping. Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t give up. I will…

Agony, Anguish + Anger

I’d started to have some better days. Even went out AT NIGHT for that business event I was talking about. I remain a finalist which meant I got out of an acceptance speech. Phew! Then one day when I was determined to look after the girls on my own for the first time in a…

My new life

Mmmmmmm. Breakfast. Yummy. This must be a familiar sight to many with a chronic illness. But at this point in time I’m lucky that only one of these tablets is synthetic. I have a feeling that I’ve figured out what’s going on at a point in time early enough to be able to recover from…

Fibromyalgia for life, yo

Have you been with me my whole life, fibromyalgia? Last night was a sea of tears. Weeping like I haven’t wept for a long time. Sobbing into the pillow until it was soaking kind of tears. My life is falling apart kind of tears. But somehow, I know that really it’s not. I don’t have…

F*** You Fibromyalgia

Day one living with fibromyalgia. Or knowing I have it at least. Last night was not much different to the last 6 months. Restless night with aches and pains and no hope of comfort. Waking up stiff beyond belief and sensitive to even the smallest sensations of pain that movement seems to bring with it…